What Exactly Is True Love?

What Exactly Is True Love?

What Exactly Is True Love?

Time and again, people ask what true love is and for some, it is very simple. True love is when you find that one who sweeps you off your feet. It is when you finally find your Prince Charming who has ridden a thousand miles just to get to you. It is the moment you find your princess who is the kindest and fairest of all. Her beauty cannot be compared to the maidens of the other kingdoms… blah, blah, blah— well, that’s how Disney likes to picture it.

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But we all know it doesn’t work that way in the real world because the world is filled with many shitty people. You travel the distance to find your someone and you could end up dead or scammed simply because your Mr. or Miss Perfect is actually a psychopath or a fraud. Or you could get your heart broken multiple times because you thought the wrong ones were the right ones. Sighs. It is so depressing in the real world.

However, this is not to say love doesn’t exist– it does. Many people fall in love only sometimes they fall out too. And sometimes, in fact many times, what people think is love actually isn’t. Love is mostly defined as an intense feeling of deep affection and unlike lust, it goes beyond physical and sexual attraction.

True love
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True love, on the other hand, is way beyond love. It goes beyond the feeling and is more of a choice. It is when you notice the flaws in your partner and do not hold it against them but instead love them the way they are. This type of love stays through tough times; when your partner goes broke, paralyzed, bald, fat, barren/impotent and so on but you choose to be there. That is true love.

Most people think that when one is truly in love, they must end up with who they love. I’m afraid that isn’t always the case. As a matter of fact, sometimes, true love even means loving yourself enough to let go. Such situations include:

Being in a toxic relationship: In cases where one is truly in love with an abuser or an addict, that person may need to walk away not because they have stopped loving the people in question but because they realize that they need to take care of their mental health. Self-care is important as you can’t give out what you don’t have. There’s no point being or remaining in a relationship that seeks to drain and destroy you.

When there is no support from your partner’s family: What if your partner’s family doesn’t approve of you, should you proceed? This is quite tricky. It has worked for some and has failed woefully for others. My honest opinion? No. Here’s why:

Every relationship has moments of misunderstanding and turmoil which is perfectly normal. The problem with going ahead is such moments may be aggravated and one party may be blamed for being responsible for any misfortune. In some cases, some families may go diabolical to ensure the crash of the relationship. So before you walk into such, ask yourself if you’re ready to compromise your peace of mind for love.

When the person you love wants to leave: This is similar to the first point but in this case, it is the other way round. If leaving you will make your partner happy, let them. Again it is for your sanity. You shouldn’t fight for someone who doesn’t want to love you— it’ll drain you.

Despite all these, true love is unbreakable. If someone truly loves you, they never stop loving you. The only difference is that they love you from a distance. They will genuinely wish the best for you. Yes, because we are humans, there are the “this could have been us” moments and that’s okay. It doesn’t matter if you get married to someone else, such a person will love you enough to detach from you so you can build a bond with your new partner.

This is the one that will hear about your marital problem and instead of being glad will profer a solution to make it work. This is someone who feels pain when you do, who is happy when you’re happy and who would genuinely hope that your partner loves you just as much.

Now, folks, this is true love.

So tell me, have you ever truly been in love? Have you ever experienced it? Do you have a contrary opinion? Share your thoughts.

Previous post: Free Yourself

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Viano Dee

Viano Dee is a non niche blogger, poet, songwriter and a hardcore romantic who believes that life is something that we all should be positive about. She writes about life generally with the hope that positive change will occur even if it's just in one person. Her write-ups could take any form: poetry, articles, and even songs in ways that'll inspire you, resonate with you, or tell a story while keeping you both informed and entertained.

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Hannah
1 year ago

I agree that love is definitely not like Disney portrays it! Thanj you for sharing so honestly.

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Reply to  Hannah
1 year ago

Thank you, Hannah.

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Reply to  Viano Dee
1 year ago

You’re absolutely right, Kemi.

Lucy N.
1 year ago

very thought provoking! Yes, I’m in love with my husband, he’s my best friend and an amazing human being. ❤️

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Reply to  Lucy N.
1 year ago

Thanks, Lucy. Happy you’ve found yours.

Karla
1 year ago

I totally that it’s also a choice. Sometimes, we really need to choose the path which can make both of you happy. Even if it includes letting go.

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Reply to  Karla
1 year ago

That’s true, Karla.

Jenny
1 year ago

You are totally right, love is defined in so many ways in the media these days, with none of them really right! Love is a choice and love requires work. But so worth it!

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Reply to  Jenny
1 year ago

Exactly, Jenny.

Yomi Spontaneous
1 year ago

Beautifully written. Love gets portrayed in such a fancy and dramatic way in most of the movies or books but in real life it’s so simple and innocent. I feel so lucky because the love of my life is now my husband- my soul partner.

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Reply to  Yomi Spontaneous
1 year ago

Thank you. Happy for you, Vandana.

Melanie williams
1 year ago

This is all very true. You have a way with words for sure. A lovely piece to read

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Reply to  Melanie williams
1 year ago

Thank you for your kind words, Melanie.

Yomi Spontaneous
1 year ago

This is a interesting read, I think we all have to find our own versions of love and a partner that feels the same way and wants to go on that journey with us.

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Reply to  Yomi Spontaneous
1 year ago

True, Jen.

Ellen
1 year ago

True love goes way beyond attraction, and getting swept off your feet. It’s commitment, helping each other through hard times. It’s also being able to tell your partner about your deepest thoughts, your wildest dreams, with complete confidence that they will be met with caring, loving understanding. It’s complete mutual confidence. Great read, thought provoking.

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Reply to  Ellen
1 year ago

Thank you, Ellen. I couldn’t agree more.

Marjie Mare
1 year ago

True love does exist and I do believe that I will find it one. Sometimes, when we think we love someone and we starting knowing their deeper layers, then we realize that love is no longer strong.

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Reply to  Marjie Mare
1 year ago

So true, Marjie.

Maysz Adrias
1 year ago

So many definitions of true love but I believe that true love exist when someone can accept your flaws and unexpected.

Michael Oyco
1 year ago

True love maybe is fighting to be in it despite everything? Well, we have our own take on it right?

american mom - french state of
1 year ago

this post really got be thinking. I think true love can be complicated if you don’t know what it is in the first place. It’s a game of trial and error

Ewuzie Kingsley
1 year ago

True love, as I have always believed and known do exist but has always been on the base’s of faith, trust and understanding and with this I am sure to find true love, it

was an interesting read for me keep it up.

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