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What Exactly Is True Love?
Time and again, people ask what true love is and for some, it is very simple. True love is when you find that one who sweeps you off your feet. It is when you finally find your Prince Charming who has ridden a thousand miles just to get to you. It is the moment you find your princess who is the kindest and fairest of all. Her beauty cannot be compared to the maidens of the other kingdoms… blah, blah, blah— well, that’s how Disney likes to picture it.
But we all know it doesn’t work that way in the real world because the world is filled with many shitty people. You travel the distance to find your someone and you could end up dead or scammed simply because your Mr. or Miss Perfect is actually a psychopath or a fraud. Or you could get your heart broken multiple times because you thought the wrong ones were the right ones. Sighs. It is so depressing in the real world.
However, this is not to say love doesn’t exist– it does. Many people fall in love only sometimes they fall out too. And sometimes, in fact many times, what people think is love actually isn’t. Love is mostly defined as an intense feeling of deep affection and unlike lust, it goes beyond physical and sexual attraction.
True love, on the other hand, is way beyond love. It goes beyond the feeling and is more of a choice. It is when you notice the flaws in your partner and do not hold it against them but instead love them the way they are. This type of love stays through tough times; when your partner goes broke, paralyzed, bald, fat, barren/impotent and so on but you choose to be there. That is true love.
Most people think that when one is truly in love, they must end up with who they love. I’m afraid that isn’t always the case. As a matter of fact, sometimes, true love even means loving yourself enough to let go. Such situations include:
Being in a toxic relationship: In cases where one is truly in love with an abuser or an addict, that person may need to walk away not because they have stopped loving the people in question but because they realize that they need to take care of their mental health. Self-care is important as you can’t give out what you don’t have. There’s no point being or remaining in a relationship that seeks to drain and destroy you.
When there is no support from your partner’s family: What if your partner’s family doesn’t approve of you, should you proceed? This is quite tricky. It has worked for some and has failed woefully for others. My honest opinion? No. Here’s why:
Every relationship has moments of misunderstanding and turmoil which is perfectly normal. The problem with going ahead is such moments may be aggravated and one party may be blamed for being responsible for any misfortune. In some cases, some families may go diabolical to ensure the crash of the relationship. So before you walk into such, ask yourself if you’re ready to compromise your peace of mind for love.
When the person you love wants to leave: This is similar to the first point but in this case, it is the other way round. If leaving you will make your partner happy, let them. Again it is for your sanity. You shouldn’t fight for someone who doesn’t want to love you— it’ll drain you.
Despite all these, true love is unbreakable. If someone truly loves you, they never stop loving you. The only difference is that they love you from a distance. They will genuinely wish the best for you. Yes, because we are humans, there are the “this could have been us” moments and that’s okay. It doesn’t matter if you get married to someone else, such a person will love you enough to detach from you so you can build a bond with your new partner.
This is the one that will hear about your marital problem and instead of being glad will profer a solution to make it work. This is someone who feels pain when you do, who is happy when you’re happy and who would genuinely hope that your partner loves you just as much.
Now, folks, this is true love.
So tell me, have you ever truly been in love? Have you ever experienced it? Do you have a contrary opinion? Share your thoughts.
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