What Depression Feels Like

What Depression Feels Like

This is what depression

feels like:

A million emotions pouring out

at the same time. 

An unending focus on the things 

that you can’t seem 

to ignore.

You die a million times

but you still breathe.

You choke on tears

while hoping for relief.

If you could, you would

rewrite the whole script.

If you could, you would

make every adventure

pure bliss.

This is what depression

feels like:

Hot, cold, warm

at short intervals,

not dictated by the

weather or weak

immune system but

by a frail state of mind.

Steaming hot tears 

flow profusely, forcefully

finding their way out, landing

on hands, laps, 

papers, books and pillows.

Weakness. You’re afraid of light.

Lying in bed for the most

part. Tired, without doing

any physical activity. Pondering

on thoughts that have long been

lost.

This is what depression

feels like:

Torture. Your wishes and 

could have-beens stare 

unflinchingly at you, 

perpetually and mercilessly 

haunting you as the silent whispers 

of mockery breeze into your ears.

This is what depression

feels like:

Obsessions with death

and ways to die. A careful

step by step guide on how

to die best.

But the only thing stopping

the depressed from activating

these suicidal thoughts

is what some call 

fear.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of afterlife. Fear of 

the consequences that follow.

Others call it

bravery.

Bravery to choose life.

Bravery to fight. Bravery

to win.

This is what depression

looks like:

Happy smiles with

broken souls. Swollen

eyes with silent frowns.

Pure sadness. False happiness.

Just in case

you didn’t know.

Written and Performed: Viano Dee

Instrumental: Time Stops by Silent Partner

Previous poetry/rap: The Black Tale

About ‘What Depression Feels Like’

What Depression Feels Like is a dark spoken word poetry that talks about what it means to be depressed– the stages and thoughts that go into it. It also reveals what it looks like. Many people think that depression only manifests itself publicly through sadness. Unfortunately, that isn’t true.

Depression is a skilled actor. It can take any form. It can appear happy, lively and excited but beneath is burning sorrow. This is why it appears surprising when people who seem to have everything in place or are the liveliest commit suicide.

Truth is, not everyone who experiences this is aware that they are sufferers. On the other hand, not everyone who suffers from it talks about it– either because they feel like they’ll be looked down on or they simply don’t know how to describe what and why they feel that way.

Many times, the question “are you okay?” is being asked and the common reply from such people is “yes”. Sadly, it’s not always the case. This is why it is important to always look out for one another.

If you ever feel depressed, admit it. Find ways to express yourself. Pray. Write. Speak. Ask for help. No one should have to be alone in this.

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