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What Depression Feels Like

What Depression Feels Like

What Depression Feels Like

What Depression Feels Like || Viano Dee

This is what depression

feels like:

A million emotions pouring out

at the same time. 

An unending focus on the things 

that you can’t seem 

to ignore.

You die a million times

but you still breathe.

You choke on tears

while hoping for relief.

If you could, you would

rewrite the whole script.

If you could, you would

make every adventure

pure bliss.

This is what depression

feels like:

Hot, cold, warm

at short intervals,

not dictated by the

weather or weak

immune system but

by a frail state of mind.

Steaming hot tears 

flow profusely, forcefully

finding their way out, landing

on hands, laps, 

papers, books and pillows.

Weakness. You’re afraid of light.

Lying in bed for the most

part. Tired, without doing

any physical activity. Pondering

on thoughts that have long been

lost.

This is what depression

feels like:

Torture. Your wishes and 

could have-beens stare 

unflinchingly at you, 

perpetually and mercilessly 

haunting you as the silent whispers 

of mockery breeze into your ears.

This is what depression

feels like:

Obsessions with death

and ways to die. A careful

step by step guide on how

to die best.

But the only thing stopping

the depressed from activating

these suicidal thoughts

is what some call 

fear.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of afterlife. Fear of 

the consequences that follow.

Others call it

bravery.

Bravery to choose life.

Bravery to fight. Bravery

to win.

This is what depression

looks like:

Happy smiles with

broken souls. Swollen

eyes with silent frowns.

Pure sadness. False happiness.

Just in case

you didn’t know.

Written and Performed: Viano Dee

Instrumental: Time Stops by Silent Partner

Previous poetry/rap: The Black Tale

About ‘What Depression Feels Like’

What Depression Feels Like is a dark spoken word poetry that talks about what it means to be depressed– the stages and thoughts that go into it. It also reveals what it looks like. Many people think that depression only manifests itself publicly through sadness. Unfortunately, that isn’t true.

Depression is a skilled actor. It can take any form. It can appear happy, lively and excited but beneath is burning sorrow. This is why it appears surprising when people who seem to have everything in place or are the liveliest commit suicide.

Truth is, not everyone who experiences this is aware that they are sufferers. On the other hand, not everyone who suffers from it talks about it– either because they feel like they’ll be looked down on or they simply don’t know how to describe what and why they feel that way.

Many times, the question “are you okay?” is being asked and the common reply from such people is “yes”. Sadly, it’s not always the case. This is why it is important to always look out for one another.

If you ever feel depressed, admit it. Find ways to express yourself. Pray. Write. Speak. Ask for help. No one should have to be alone in this.

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What Depression Feels Like
What depression feels like

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Viano Dee

Non-niche blogger. Poet. Songwriter. A hardcore romantic. Her write-ups could take any form: poetry, articles, and even songs in ways that'll inspire you, resonate with you, or tell a story while keeping you both informed and entertained.

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Mosaicslab

omg!!! you know, I didn’t know that depression runs that deep, you captured and explained it very well, thank you so much…Sharing it.

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Reply to  Mosaicslab

Oh well, it does run that deep. Thank you for listening.

Monidipa Dutta

Depression is worse. I have been there, I suffered from Chronic depression. I feel your words. It touches me as I know it leaves you numb from inside.

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Reply to  Monidipa Dutta

I’m so sorry about your depression. Hope you’re okay now.

Di MadWriter

It was so difficult to finish reading it without thinking about how much it hurts them to feel helpless.

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Reply to  Di MadWriter

It really hurts.

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Reply to  Viano Dee

In fact that’s the worst type of depression– when it is full of smiles.

Di Hickman

Wow Viana this is an amazing poem! So deep and vulnerable. I’ve experienced times when I feeling like you have to plaster on a happy face, when inside you’re falling apart and “sinking” further into an abyss. Thanks for raising attention to this.

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Reply to  Di Hickman

Thank you so much for listening.

Ramil Hinolan

There is so much emotions in this poem. I can feel the pain the sufferers of depression have gone through. Sadly, most of them do not reveal their true feelings. If it is wrong to ask “Are you okay?”, what is the best question then. I am always guilty of having this question asked when I noticed friends who are going through a crisis.

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Reply to  Ramil Hinolan

I can imagine how difficult it must be for you. Sometimes silence, a hug and a whisper of assurance is all they need. Ofcourse prayer too.

Olivia Ngene

It’s always a bad feeling. No one deserve to feel this way, to experience depression but sadly, we don’t always have control over what we feel. Thanks for capturing with words

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Reply to  Olivia Ngene

No one has to be alone in it. Thanks for listening.

Kristine Nicole Alessandra

I have been diagnosed to have depression. During the first few months, I wanted to voice out my feelings, my anxiety, my worries to my family but I did not find the support I needed. Thankfully, my psychologist is a very good one and I always look forward to my appointments with her. Medication and counseling did wonders for me. Depression is not an easy illness to deal with. Hopefully, society would be more empathetic to those who suffer from depression.

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Thank God you’re okay now. You’re right! It’s not an easy thing to deal with.

Michael

I think I felt this even just for a small amount of time and it feels so bad. You need to get out ASAP! Thankfully my Faith helped me big time.

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Reply to  Michael

Oh wow! Awesome.Thank God for your life.

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What a beautiful piece. “Depression is a skilled actor.” I like this one, and i really agree. You’d never be able to tell

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Thank you so much.

Lyosha

I needed to read this book last year when one of my friends suffered from diagnosed depression. I didn’t know how to ask better, how to even imagine how he feels

Christy

This is beautifully written. It would be really difficult to be in it and alone. It would also be difficult for the people around to detect, unless one opens up about it.

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Reply to  Christy

so true.

blair villanueva

This is very beautiful piece of writing. You’ve touched my heart of your every words.

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Glad you liked it. Thank you.

Marta

That was beautiful to read. Lovley poem

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Reply to  Marta

Thanks so much.

Melanie williams

What a lovely read and I am sure many people especially at the moment will identify with this for sure x

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I believe so too. Thanks for listening.

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