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What Depression Feels Like
This is what depression
feels like:
A million emotions pouring out
at the same time.
An unending focus on the things
that you can’t seem
to ignore.
You die a million times
but you still breathe.
You choke on tears
while hoping for relief.
If you could, you would
rewrite the whole script.
If you could, you would
make every adventure
pure bliss.
This is what depression
feels like:
Hot, cold, warm
at short intervals,
not dictated by the
weather or weak
immune system but
by a frail state of mind.
Steaming hot tears
flow profusely, forcefully
finding their way out, landing
on hands, laps,
papers, books and pillows.
Weakness. You’re afraid of light.
Lying in bed for the most
part. Tired, without doing
any physical activity. Pondering
on thoughts that have long been
lost.
This is what depression
feels like:
Torture. Your wishes and
could have-beens stare
unflinchingly at you,
perpetually and mercilessly
haunting you as the silent whispers
of mockery breeze into your ears.
This is what depression
feels like:
Obsessions with death
and ways to die. A careful
step by step guide on how
to die best.
But the only thing stopping
the depressed from activating
these suicidal thoughts
is what some call
fear.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of afterlife. Fear of
the consequences that follow.
Others call it
bravery.
Bravery to choose life.
Bravery to fight. Bravery
to win.
This is what depression
looks like:
Happy smiles with
broken souls. Swollen
eyes with silent frowns.
Pure sadness. False happiness.
Just in case
you didn’t know.
Written and Performed: Viano Dee
Instrumental: Time Stops by Silent Partner
Previous poetry/rap: The Black Tale
About ‘What Depression Feels Like’
What Depression Feels Like is a dark spoken word poetry that talks about what it means to be depressed– the stages and thoughts that go into it. It also reveals what it looks like. Many people think that depression only manifests itself publicly through sadness. Unfortunately, that isn’t true.
Depression is a skilled actor. It can take any form. It can appear happy, lively and excited but beneath is burning sorrow. This is why it appears surprising when people who seem to have everything in place or are the liveliest commit suicide.
Truth is, not everyone who experiences this is aware that they are sufferers. On the other hand, not everyone who suffers from it talks about it– either because they feel like they’ll be looked down on or they simply don’t know how to describe what and why they feel that way.
Many times, the question “are you okay?” is being asked and the common reply from such people is “yes”. Sadly, it’s not always the case. This is why it is important to always look out for one another.
If you ever feel depressed, admit it. Find ways to express yourself. Pray. Write. Speak. Ask for help. No one should have to be alone in this.
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