What Are Your Options?
Written by Di MadWriter
I had a conversation with a good friend of mine a few years ago, when she was going through a difficult time. She had just missed out on being admitted into the university. It wasn’t her first nor her third application; and we had both hoped that one would work out. It devastated her; I was really sad too.
The very first time we spoke about it, she said she wasn’t willing to go through another year of preparations and exams, registrations and more exams, only to end up with yet another disappointment. She had given up, and I could tell from the way she spoke that she meant every word of it. I simply listened to her and told her she’d be alright.
After she’d had time to process it all, we went back to that conversation. She told me she meant it when she said she wasn’t going to try anymore. Then I asked the question: what are your options?
You see, she had dreams, beautiful ones. And to achieve those dreams, she needed to study and get her degree. So when I asked what other options she had, we couldn’t find any way that she could get what she really wanted without going through school. That was all the reasons she needed to keep trying.
Sometimes, life deals you a bad hand, and you’re not sure what to do. I’ve had a lot of experiences myself. It seems as though going forward is an impossible task.
But one thing that I’ve found is this: when you clearly lay out your options on the table, it makes your decisions easier. Like when I hit a major roadblock in my early years in the university, it almost broke me. For a couple of days, I couldn’t move forward; I was stuck. But at some point, I had to lay out my options— back out or fight harder. Since it was clear to me that backing out was totally off the table, I had one option left; get back up and fight.
Make no mistake, this does not necessarily make it easier for you to scale through challenges. It only makes it more difficult for you to give up by showing you what you’ve got to lose. Then, it shows you what you have to gain if you don’t give up. And in most cases, that is all that you need to either stay in the game, or throw in the towel.
The year after my friend went through all that, we made enquiries, and she ended up applying to a different school. Turns out she only needed to try one more time. She gained admission into her desired course without hassle. I, on the other hand, got back on my feet and took on my challenges head on. It wasn’t easy. I came across even bigger ones as I forged ahead. But I didn’t let myself stay down for very long.
You must learn to be conscious of times when you find yourself saying ‘I can’t go on’ for so long, but then, you’re not giving up either. You’re just stuck. And when you eventually decide on what to do, you may have lost a lot of time, making things even harder. I always tell myself, since I’m sure I won’t give up, the only other option is to get back up really fast and start dealing with whatever it is that knocked me down. And it works for me.
You may also want to apply this whenever it gets difficult. Weigh your options. Think about what you want and how much you’re willing to give to get it. And whichever road you decide to take, go all in.
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