The Derrick Jaxn Saga And Lessons To Learn
A few days back, a lady by the name of Candice De Medeiros came forward with receipts stating that she’d had an affair with the Almighty Love Guru and Relationship Coach, Derrick Jaxn. In case you have no idea who that is, he is a well-built black man who has set a high pedestal for men.
He has called out guys for cheating and has told ladies not to settle for less. That in itself is a brave and noble cause. No one should settle for less. But the problem everyone is having with this guy is the fact that he preached this, ridiculed every man who didn’t meet this set standard while he himself, for the most part, was guilty! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.
Personally, I had always thought it was weird that he always made videos at the front seat of his car, and never was there a time his wife was beside him. According to him, he didn’t want his family out there even though his wife, Da’nai had pictures of him on her Insta page. Oh well, now we know why. He probably wanted to give the impression that he was single.
Anyway, turns out the couple have been together for 12 years and married for 4 years. Though he claims that he cheated when they were separated which was sometime in 2020, it’s safe to say that this wasn’t his first time. Going by one of Derrick’s advice, he clearly states:
“Let me say this, I have no sympathy for a man who finds it difficult to be faithful after being in a promiscuous life style and neither should you. Nobody told you to be promiscuous before the relationship and nobody made you monogamous with just her. You don’t want her? Let another man have her. Simple.”
“But the truth is you’ve probably been cheating much before you actually put your dick in her. In more times, I’d say 9 out of 10, when a dude gets caught cheating that wasn’t his very very first time cheating. That wasn’t his only time cheating, that was his only time getting caught.”Derrick jaxn (time stamp 00:25- 1:04)
Oh well, seems his own words have come back to haunt him. Initially, he denied ever cheating on his wife but retracted when he realized that he couldn’t get away with it. He proceeded to make an apology video with his wife beside him and held her hand firmly. She was still hurting and it was way too obvious. To me, that’s the height of humiliation. You can watch the full video here.
Barely a few hours after, another video was released by the couple and you can watch that here:
Observations From The Derrick Jaxn Saga
After the whole story blew up, I decided to check his wife’s page on Instagram and immediately noticed she posts a lot of scripture related stuffs. However, a few things caught my attention. Some of her posts talk about her past experiences and struggle with depression. She talked about how she wasn’t loved particularly by her dad. Da’nai also said something about being raped at some point in time in her life and the trauma that came with it.
That being said, these posts suggested that she was also in an abusive relationship. I believe it was more of a mental and emotional abuse as she talked about always obsessing over other women– trying to be like them– because “he” liked his women some certain type of way (dark skinned precisely).
On the 24th of February 2021 Da’nai uploaded a short video of herself captioned Lost In Plain Sight. The Love Guru’s wife mentioned that though she looked all ‘glammed up‘, she was dealing with all sorts of pain. Read below:
Erika LaPearl mua BEAT my face down weeks before she blew up as Cardi B personal mua. Sis did not play any games with my face that day. Moving on, the exquisite work of art you see here..let me tell you behind it was nothing short of hateful, bitter, resentful, detestable, shady and murderous thoughts.
I mean the word is TRUTH when it states ” As a man think in his heart, so is he”. Hatred consumed me, I hated my body, skin, personality, clothes, women ( topic for another day), my own daughters dark skin and men just to name a few.
I was bitter at the hand that life had dealt me, daddy rejected me, daddy died, rape, voluntary sharing of a man, cheated on, taunted by women and the list goes on. Resentful of all of the above plus some festering relationship issues that piled up over years of me voluntarily keeping silent which fed the shady and murderous demons and kept my spirit man gagged, chained and bound.
Shady may be a gross understatement but I moved passive aggressively or aggressively in nearly everything I did. It took a toll on me , it took a toll on my relationship and it was one toe shy of me having my own Netflix special about snapping and murdering a few people.
I tried everything to find myself and be this person who means something to the world. I participated in music therapy with Athens like “I ain’t sorry..boy bye”, ” lil-you can’t-me if you wanted to these expensive, these is red bottoms” , “who the-do you think I am, you ain’t messing with no average-boy” and so many more like it.
I self medicated with stalking women who had ever slept with my husband, I drank whole bottles of wine until I couldn’t feel the pain deep in side of me, I purchased the best of the best, hair, makeup, shoes, jewelry..you name it.
I did it and I was lost to self, lost to Christ, lost to life, yet the mask I was wearing looked A1 according to 🌎 standard of what I should look like, present to the 🌍, “carry” myself as being a celebrity house wife.
All of it amounted to ZERO. Everything I had I lost. Some was 100% demonic destruction and some was just plain immaturity. When I hit the bottom of the bottom.I could only look up & cry out JESUS. He then spoke to me 😭Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/CLrfooiA4PT/
3 days later (27th February) she put up another post titled I Knew Her Body Better Than I Knew My Own. In this she makes a shocking revelation.
Body issues go deeper than IG youtube, & other media outlets. Add premium outlets like porn channels including the “homemade” videos & you’re standing in the🚪, labeled TORTURE; on the other end eagerly awaiting your arrival is obsession, anxiety, fear, incubus, succubus, jealousy, rage & a host of other demons.
Let me tell you how cunning the satanic plot is that nearly destroyed me. The word says the enemy comes to STEAL, KILL & DESTROY therefore what happened to me is real time happening to others. The step stones to the pathway leading to the🚪of torture happened in my youth.
Fast forward, to a woman who attended college with me, dark skin, well known, successful & just so happened to be someone I’ve seen naked, penetrated, soaking 💦, moaning & more. I HATED the woman, but I also desperately wanted to be like her because it felt like she had something I wanted.
Once, my 👁 gates were opened to this part of her, I studied every thing about her. It came down to me knowing her bra size, waist size and how she liked to be stimulated during the act. A few times, I tried to imitate her in the same way & it backfired miserably; this is just what Jealousy and Rage needed to get in modern day terms “lit” in my mind body and soul.
Daily these thoughts screamed at me ” you’ll never have what she has, you don’t fit the profile”, “she’s dark skinned perfection, you’re not, he’ll always choose her over you,” ” she’s more successful than you, look at what’s she’s done & look at you, how can you compete with that?” Do you see her body in clothes? Now look at her body outside of them, you’re only good for one thing and it will never meet up to the standard that’s she set “.
A few of many spirit crushing blows that had total control of my mind for over a decade. 😈 were working tirelessly, to destroy me at the core, they seamlessly played on my “issues” . I knew this woman’s body better than I knew my own for over 10 years. BOUND by the enemy so I would die. The media & childhood are the stones to this 🚪.
Many of us have gone through this 🚪& greeted by the same 😈 BUT I’VE COME to proclaim VICTORY over this 🚪 & those😈 through forgiveness. In JESUS NAME. AMEN 🙏🏽Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/CLxtpEbgC7Z/
In another post she mentioned this:
I ran away and he came to get my ass in an helicopter.Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/B6WpDlfAPzo/
When I found these, all I could think of was the fact that she has been suffering. If you watched the videos you’ll notice she mentioned that they met in college when they were 19 and they’ve been together since then. This makes it clear that she’s talking about no other person than her husband.
Also. in the post where she mentioned voluntary sharing of a man, I think aside from all the cheating her husband had been doing, there was this dark skinned girl who was in college at about the same time that she and Derrick were also students there.
It’s clear that she has been involved with a threesome with this person.She states it was done willingly and has been so for over 10 years. She’s known and been with her husband for 12 years. Damn! That’s terrible.
The reason why I believe this post even more is because just 2 or so days ago, another lady came forward to say she had an affair with Derrick Jaxn and he told her that his wife wasn’t good in bed. To me, that explains why he probably involved another woman into their matrimonial home and also constantly cheated.
If you know anything about narcissists, this is a very classic example.
It sort of reminds me of a story a friend told me about a friend of his. This lady got married to a man who was all love and fun before they got married. When they got married, he changed drastically.
Dude is a relationship expert who does not practice even one thing he teaches. Yet, his followers think his marriage is heaven on earth. He makes good money yet it somehow doesn’t reflect on her except on days when it has to ( you know like when they have to go some place together and stuff like that). She doesn’t even have a good phone.
According to the story, there’s no intimacy, no real conversations, nothing. He doesn’t want her working neither does he want her visiting. She literally has to sneak out to visit ( he has a day job). The only time he gets close is when he wants to have sex and to the lady, it feels like rape because she’s filled with resentment. And yes, all these happen in the home of a relationship expert. One who has fixed the marriages of others while deliberately breaking his own down. It’s sad.
Lesson To Learn From The Derrick Jaxn Saga
Know that everything isn’t exactly as it seems: Many times we compare ourselves to others and wish we could be like them without realizing that a lot of people are merely actors. If we were to put ourselves and such people on a scale, we would outweigh them in terms of realness and integrity. This is why we shouldn’t look up to anyone. Take what they say if it’s good advice but never conclude that they are living up the standards they are portraying to live by. Just take good advice for your own personal development.
Practice what you preach: If you’re not doing it but feel the need to say it, don’t judge others who are equally as guilty as you are. It’ll be fair to also mention that you do not practice that thing but you know it’s the right thing to do. Truly, it’s best to not even mention it if you’re not living it but if you must, be at least truthful about it. This way no one sets you on a high pedestal.
Do not use spirituality as a cover up: Acknowledge your fault if you fail but don’t play on people’s intelligence by claiming spirituality. Talking about repenting when clearly they haven’t is as disgusting as it can be. Sadly, this happens to be a trend when those who are highly adored seem to fall. I say ‘seem to’ because many times they aren’t even standing in the first place. Just apologize and leave it at that. Don’t fake being spiritual.
Be careful how you throw stones: I think we can agree that we all are guilty of this in one way or the other. Sometimes, we condemn stuff because they are wrong but we fail to look critically at the circumstances or situations that may have contributed to the error committed. Maybe if we consider being in such situations or are actually in similar situations, we would have more empathy. However, that doesn’t mean the truth should be spared. It just means we should be a little kinder in our dealings. And no, this does not apply in all cases. Some issues are so grievous that they shouldn’t be taken lightly.
I personally don’t think Derrick is truly sorry or repentant. It seems to me that he’s more concerned about his image and his livelihood than he is about his marriage. But then, I’m not God. I don’t know about his personal journey. He may be sincere, who knows? It’s just that I doubt that’s the case judging from everything so far, his actions pretty seem like something a narcissist would do if he has had his cover blown.
All of a sudden, dude is talking about God like he just met with him. He’s talking about pride like he just fell from grace meanwhile, this has been a long time habit of his. It doesn’t feel or seem genuine. I’m sorry to say I’m not buying that. Maybe that’s because I’ve been around narcissists firsthand and I’m really familiar with their tactics. I guess time will tell.
Da’nai on the other hand, seems broken to me. I think she needs a break. She needs to genuinely heal. I’m not buying all these preaching and scripture quoting. It’s like she’s masking her pain by using religion as a cover. She’s clearly still hurting and needs some quiet. I’m not going to say she should leave her marriage but she does need some space.
Even though she mentioned she left before but returned after she saw some changes… Sis, narcissists know how to play that pretense game so well. What changes did you see in a few months? Change is something that is deliberate and not something that happens asap because there’s a scandal in the midst of a book launch. If you’re reading this, I hope the Lord whom you trust leads and directs you and I pray you’d be willing to listen and walk with him.
What do you guys think about the whole thing? Drop your comments below.
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