Stories That Burn!
This is a continuation of the previous post: Inside Life. You can read that here.
While I was still trying to put myself together, I wondered if my ex still thought about me as much as I did or if he had really found true happiness and had completely forgotten about me. I soon realized that those questions were completely irrelevant. Knowing or not knowing wasn’t going to change the situation. I needed to move on, that I knew quite well but how, was the problem. Turns out my sister and her boyfriend had a plan– a comedy show. They felt it would be a great distraction, atleast for a moment.
I was quite unwillingly to go but they had gotten tickets so I went. It was at this show I met someone who would turn out to be a friend. Let’s call him Mr. A (obviously not his real name). Mr. A and I got talking about things generally: life, work, and relationship. He proceeded to tell me his story.
Stories that burn: Wasted Effort!
He had been in a relationship for 5 years and had genuinely hoped it was going to end up in marriage. Every plan he had made involved her– she meant the world to him. He had it in mind to propose but it seemed she had her own plans: there was someone else she was building her dream with. She had been cheating on him for a year and he trusted her so much that he was too blind to notice. All it took was a text message from her lover to reveal the truth.
She had saved her lover’s name with the pet name she saved her boyfriend’s. While she was asleep, a text came in but indicated that the message was from him and that was how he sat and read all their messages.
His anger wasn’t merely about the fact that she had someone else, it was more about her not being open and still pretending that she cared about him. She still made plans with him when she knew she was going to leave him. Turns out she was already making plans to marry the other guy which happened eventually.
When asked why she didn’t tell him, she said she didn’t know how to tell him. As he spoke, I could still see the hurt in his eyes even though he said he was over it. I mean she was married with at least a kid. He had no choice but to be strong for himself and move on.
Stories that burn: Saved from the pit!
This story was told to me by a friend. It was about a single young lady who happened to fall in love with who she thought was Mr. Perfect. He had made plans to meet her parents for her hand in marriage after 3 years of dating. Only for her to find out that Mr. Perfect was already married with kids. She was devasted and today she isn’t the same.
Stories that burn: Uncovered Secrets.
I was chatting with a friend one day about a news story. It was a lady who was reporting what her in-law had done to her brother. According to her, the brother forgot his phone at home. He came back later only to be welcomed by a kettle of boiling water that was thrown at his face by his wife. The sister-in-law said that his wife had insecurities.
My friend said she wasn’t going to say anything until she was able to find out what the lady saw that provoked her to do so. She proceeded to tell me about a married man who contracted HIV from extra-marital affairs and infected his wife. He started treatment without the woman’s knowledge. The poor wife didn’t even know until much later.
She also told me of another married man who told the wife that he was sacked and had nothing. His wife took up the responsibility of providing for the family only to discover later that the man wasn’t sacked. In fact, he was housing a lady somewhere and enjoying his life.
Stories that burn: Undercover.
I read about this sometime early this year. A man was lamenting that he had married a wicked woman. She had been able to mask it for the 2 years they were dating. The lady had been so sweet and respectful until he decided to marry her. Immediately after marriage, she became a nightmare. He gave her credit for being a good pretender for 2 years without him being able to notice it. One thing was clear, she was the biggest mistake he had made.
Stories that burn: Friend from Hell.
I read recently how a married man dumped his wife to marry her best friend of 25 years. I find this a hard pill to swallow.
There are many more stories but time will not permit me to write them all. However, these stories hastened my healing process and made me realize that there is more to life. If things do not work our way, sometimes, it’s to our advantage.
The Take Home
Marriage doesn’t necessarily translate to happiness. A lot of people are very miserable in their marriages. Sometimes as singles, we worry about settling down and having families because we see our mates do the same. But what we fail to understand that there is so much we can’t see and we do not know.
There are many men who take good care of their wives and kids and yet cheat. In fact, there are men whose wives do everything they can to keep them at home but these men still won’t stay put– sometimes even unknown to their wives. I’ve come across several men like that. Would you call that a happy home?
What about ladies who have several lovers outside their husbands and even allow their husbands (unknown to them) to raise other men’s kids? Is that even a home?
I know of someone who recently got married and I saw how elated she was in her pictures. All I could feel for her was pity. If only she knew what a serial cheat her man was she would have remained single.
Even worse are cases where marriages end after several years of being together (imagine getting a divorce after 32 years of marriage). Why? This doesn’t even make sense. It’s crazy.
On the flip side, there are marriages that have been genuinely intact because both couples put in as much effort to make it work. But sincerely speaking, this is very rare.
Someone once said: “The world will not treat any better because you’re a nice person.” I guess this saying is true.
As much as I would love to really sound positive about love, I must say that in all of this I’ve learned that the only person you truly have is you. You have to create your own happiness. Don’t waste time building it around someone else because if something goes wrong, you’ll crash. Enjoy every bit of this singleness while it lasts by making the most of it and being the best you can be.
Always remember that it is better for you to remain single and happy than for you to be married and miserable. I hope that when we eventually find love, it will be real, pure and true.
Las las, we go dey alright! (In the end, we’ll be fine!)
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