Stop Playing the Victim Card!

Stop Playing the Victim Card!

Stop Playing the Victim Card!

Have you ever had an altercation with someone over a specific issue but instead of addressing that problem you flip it around and accuse them of something different and untrue?

Do you find yourself acting like a victim in a situation where you are clearly not the victim? If your answer is yes, chances are you are playing the victim card.

Many times those who play the victim card tend to project their faults unto others rather than deal with them. These people want to be heard but shut others up.

They preach tolerance but are far from being tolerant. Such people will go the extra mile to bring others down because they would rather not deal with the facts.

A few months ago, I came across a video of a black guy who said his dad called the cops to kick him out of the house because he was gay. Fortunately, he documented the drama.

It turns out that the reason for the kick-out was because he was being super rude to his dad, contributed nothing to the house despite being in his late 20’s, and used up stuff without replacing them.

In that video, he used up the soap that the dad had bought some days ago. That action was the last straw for the old man and he resorted to kicking the entitled brat out of his house.

The dude lied even though the facts were right there. Guess what? The comment section wasn’t having it either. (Unfortunately, as of the time of this writing, I couldn’t find the video.)

In a similar event, the Trans community called out Dave Chappelle for being transphobic in his recent Netflix special, The Closer. However, after seeing the special it was clear that wasn’t Dave’s motive.

In fact, he addressed the issues surrounding the allegations against him by the community– even stating that despite the fact that his views on gender differ from that of the LGBTQ+ group, he can see beyond that and treat them with respect. Hence, his story on Daphne Dorman.

Now everyone knows Dave jokes about everybody and everything with the aim of educating and making it okay to laugh at one’s pain. The last time I checked, the trans community makes jokes too.

The biggest ‘joke’ they pulled was to give a women’s award to a trans-woman — Caitlyn Jenner! I know they were called out and yet they stood by it.

Does that mean jokes shouldn’t be tolerated unless it’s coming from them? It seems so. I guess that also means that they can force their opinions down our throats but no one should have an opinion about them.

The truth of the matter is that just because people don’t agree with the community doesn’t mean that they are enemies. Gender is indeed a fact! Little wonder why there are so many transgendered people who want their original sexes back. There are consequences for going against nature and that too is a fact.

What’s worse is the hypocrisy in this community. They claim to be protecting their own but at the same time, destroying those they claim to protect if for whatever reason they tend to disagree with their views.

Daphne was fine until she went against her tribe and supported Dave. What happened afterward? Suicide! What did the trans community do for her? I don’t know. Dave, on the other hand, who is the perceived enemy is helping the family in the best way he can. So much for a transphobic, don’t you think?

You’d think it’ll end there, hell no! Two Netflix employees claimed they were sacked and suspended respectively for speaking against Dave’s special.

Meanwhile, in reality, one was fired for leaking confidential info ( this person’s lawyer denies it though Netflix says it has proof) while the other was suspended for attending a virtual meeting of directors and vice presidents without notifying the meeting organizer in advance. She has since been reinstated.

Clearly, the sanctions were given because they broke some company rules not because they aired their views. One begins to wonder why they had to twist the stories. But isn’t that what those who play the victims do? They change the narratives to gain attention or sympathy.

Now, this isn’t limited to the trans community alone. The reason it seems like it’s about them is that this issue has been trending for a while and since it is in line with the topic in question, it only makes sense to mention it. We know that the Karens also love playing this card but quite frankly, anyone can play the victim if they decide to but not everyone does. Let me expatiate.

Racism is an issue, that is a fact. But if as a black lady, I walk up to a white person and disrespect them without cause, and the person reacts, I cannot call that white person racist for calling me out. Why? Because I am clearly in the wrong. If I flip the script and accuse them of being racist, that would be me pretending to be a victim. In all honesty, that is highly manipulative.

That being said, just yesterday, a friend of mine called me a hateful person. He accused me of looking down on him because we’re cool. And I’m thinking to myself this has got to be the dumbest thing that I have heard in a while. How does this even make sense? I don’t know about you but I’m not one to hang out with someone I hate. Truth is, I don’t even hate people, I hate bad actions.

All I’ve ever done to this guy was treat him like a friend and a brother but this dude begins to spill out trash simply because he asked me out and I said no. When I even expressed my annoyance and called him out for lying, he told me he was disappointed in me because of how I devalued him.

Guys, believe me when I tell you I was in shock. I’ve been friends with this guy for a few years and I tell you that I didn’t notice this toxic trait until yesterday. When I asked him to tell me what I did or said that made him feel so, he couldn’t say — there was nothing tangible. His actions were uncalled for and I have decided to set boundaries.

I guess the point is this: playing the victim card ruins relationships. It makes one seem entitled and doesn’t put one in a good light. You need to understand that everyone cannot and will not agree with you. They will not always do your bidding and things will not always go your way. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn’t make them your enemy neither does it mean that they should be canceled or treated like trash.

So if you find yourself wanting to play the victim card, take a deep breath and look at the facts. If the facts are against you, then you are not the victim. Face the facts, accept your faults, and be a better version of yourself. That is what growth is about.

Share your thoughts!

Related posts: Entitled People: How to deal with them, The Victoria’s Secret Karen, 7 Types of Friends to Avoid

Previous post: Slavery (The Big Dream)


Stop playing the victim card
Stop playing the victim card
Stop playing the victim card
Stop playing the victim card

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Viano Dee

Non-niche blogger. Poet. Songwriter. A hardcore romantic. Her write-ups could take any form: poetry, articles, and even songs in ways that'll inspire you, resonate with you, or tell a story while keeping you both informed and entertained.

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I haven’t seen The Closer, but after reading your post, I really want to watch it, thanks!

Reply to  Smiley

You should. He says a lot that seems to fly over the community’s heads. Apparently, many of them are jumping into conclusion without having watched it.


Intresting and truthful piece. Many people naturally act that way when they get defensive of their actions. As human beings, we ought to always check our actions and reactions to be sure we are not playing the victim card when we are wrong.


One of the things I see, is people not understanding that each person brings their unique story into a discussion, a relationship, an issue. When we only look at things from our viewpoint this can cause that victim mentality… and huge divisions.

Jen @ Jenron Designs

I think that some people enjoy the attention being the victim gains them while other enjoy the drama. All in together my husband and my families have always played victims in multiple scenarios, nowadays we just provide them with irrefutable facts no matter ugly they are, and let the chips fall where they may…


Nice one dear, this is a very important topic, but is quite easy to neglect because of how easily we could seem to be calling out nearly everyone on the “table”. I like how you talk about such topics anyway. I love to read your stuff, keep it up.

Natasha Mairs

I hate people like this. It really gets on my nerves. At their ages you think they would just grow up

Lori Bosworth

I guess people play the victim card because they feel disempowered. It’s easier for them to blame others than acknowledge that they need to address their own issues.

Yemi Edwards
Yemi Edwards
Reply to  Lori Bosworth

I agree with Lori, at the end of the day there are three sides to a story, side a and side b, then the side we all see!


I certainly have played the victim card in the past. I remember it to this day and it was also the turning point for me because I realized the same things were happening over and over in different situations. It wasn’t until I admitted that I was the problem that it occurred to me I was playing the victim. In some ways, it’s a great excuse and an easy way out. But it’s also very crippling. A hard lesson to learn indeed!

Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com


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Wow, after starting meditation I understand how we do that a lot but if you start thinking about it constantly we will stop doing it so much as we growth within ourselves!


Sorry to hear this. I was not really aware of this issue concerning Dave. It’s awful what happened to Daphne. I really hate it when others play the victim card when in fact they aren’t one. 


I know someone that plays the victim quite regularly. She never takes ownership of her own mistakes and blames everyone else. It’s exhausting.


I agree with not playing the victim while recognizing the cards stacked against you in this reality. It’s a nuanced conversation, and not one where we are talking with the elites.


I agree with not playing the victim while recognizing the cards stacked against you in this reality. It’s a nuanced conversation, and not one where we are talking with the elites.


I actually can relate. I hate it when people has some form of mental wild card to do whatever they want because they are a minority and need protection. You still do but it doesn’t excuse you from being a trash. The story of a a guy who claim his was thrown out because he was gay while he actually was a mess of a person sadly happens way too often (with whatever victim card there might be)

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