How To Win Your Argument In 6 Easy Steps

How To Win Your Argument In 6 Easy Steps

How To Win Your Argument In 6 Easy Steps

Written by Di MadWriter (Contributor)

I’ve lost a number of arguments, and I’m sure you’d agree with me that it’s a very painful thing to lose. And for someone like me who argues for a living (even though I don’t get paid for it), I cannot bear to have that much pain everyday all year long. So I had to adapt.

The tips I’m about to share with you, I had to figure out myself, mostly the hard way. I can’t remember going through any books or articles on how to argue; I’m guessing that is what they take years to learn in law school (haha). I will promise you one thing though, if you keep these tips in your heart, you can say goodbye to losing and the heartbreaks that come with it.

Don’t Pick An Argument You Can’t Win

This is not as easy as it looks. How do you know that you can win an argument? Considering the facts? Studying the opposition? All of these are important, but the most important factor is you and your emotions.

The thing that works against you the most in an argument is your emotions. If you are sensitive about the topic of the argument, that’s a red flag. You may want to smile your way through that one.

Of course, there are exceptions for important conversations that must be had. In those cases, remember that you’re already handicapped. Tread carefully. And don’t feel too bad if you eventually lose; it happens to the best of us.

In the early stages, speak less and let your opponents do all the talking.

A lot of people prefer to rant than to actually argue, so that makes it pretty easy. They’d want to talk and believe you have nothing to say. Allow them to believe that. Do not push to win too early. Say just enough to keep them trying, and take note of all what they’ve said. Those are your tickets to victory.

Do not lose sight of what the initial debate is.

People are fond of arguing and forgetting what it was that brought about the arguments in the first place. They only become interested in opposing each other. You’d be surprised at how much this happens.

Call them back when they digress, even if you still want to argue the new statement, finish with one first. The topic is like the judge; it declares the results of every argument.

Get Creative

If you’re arguing on the wrong side, get creative. I’ve found myself on the wrong side of arguments a lot of times. This is how I manage to win. In some cases, I throw too much information at the opposition that they don’t even know how to reply.

This does not contradict the second point; you have to assess every situation before picking your cards. When you know that you’re trying to prove an unreasonable point, wait, speak less, and observe the opponents.

If they aren’t very good, they’d probably hand you a gun, or go ahead to shoot themselves in the leg with it. But if they don’t, you must begin to throw out information or find their weaknesses (sensitive points).

Ask a lot of relevant questions.

So do you mean to say that…? How about …? Remember when this happened, what do you have to say about that? This is how you round your opponents to a corner without them knowing it.

They think you’re finally beginning to agree with them, but you’re analyzing their answers and comparing them with all that they’ve said (while they ranted and you listened).

You can almost be sure that they’d contradict themselves. When they do, point it out, and ask the questions again. That puts them on the spot. It’s time for knockout.

Remind them of what the initial debate is.

Follow the tread down to all that they’ve said (highlighting the parts that don’t add up), narrow it all the way down and back to the topic. That is the verdict. If you do this at the right time, you will find your opponents looking for a middle ground to settle. That means you won. Do not try to beat them completely. Remember, you don’t even care about this topic. You’ve got what you wanted, a win.

Conclusion

This thing works, people. And it’s because many people don’t know how to argue yet. When everyone learns to do that, it’d most likely get tougher. But for now, it’s as easy as taking out your garbage.

I once found myself in a debate against my friends who were law students at the time, and I was defending the notion ‘talkatives make the best leaders’. Note, I am the exact opposite of a talkative, and I do not think there’s anything true about that statement, but I made sure to not make it personal.

I presented such a good argument that the judges refused to disclose the results. When my friends suggested that I may have lost, I said: “I don’t even care. I had a shitty topic to defend. And the fact that we’re even asking for results means y’all didn’t do a very good job.” It was glorious.

Now you know about my bad habits. I hope you find something helpful here. If there’s a part of it that you disagree with, please point it out. There’s a great chance that I will not argue with you… or maybe I will. 😀

-Di MadWriter

Previous post: Be Grateful For Who You Are

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How to win your argument in 6 easy steps
How To Win Your Argument In 6 Easy Steps
How to win your argument in 6 easy steps
How To Win Your Argument In 6 Easy Steps

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Di MadWriter

Di MadWriter is a Nigerian storyteller and poet who fully exercises his right to laugh whenever and wherever he wants. He thinks madness is a spectrum; it is not absolute. Every new day, he chooses whether to be rigid or informal. He loves to see people laugh, or smile at least.

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Aaliziyah
6 months ago

I feel that this is really helpful. Sometimes, although this is very embarrassing to admit, I tend to go below the belt whenever there is an argument. Thank you so much for sharing this because it enlightened me of how arguments should not be taken personally

Di MadWriter
Reply to  Aaliziyah
6 months ago

I’m glad you feel that way. I had my days of arguing with emotions, and it was like extra stress. You feel a lot better when you’re able to make an argument without taking it personally. It relieves you. I’m sure you’ll begin to feel that soon.

Thank you for sharing.

Trisha Agrawal
6 months ago

Ah! Such helpful pointers to win an argument. Gotta surely keep these in mind for the next time I have one.

Di MadWriter
Reply to  Trisha Agrawal
6 months ago

Say goodbye to losing then.😅

Thank you, Trisha.

Bethan TaylorSwaine
6 months ago

There’s definitely strategy involved in arguing and it is an art that can be learnt (debating wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t) although there’s also an art in knowing when to stop and draw a line, and that’s what I’ve been trying to master over the last couple of years.

Di MadWriter
Reply to  Bethan TaylorSwaine
6 months ago

This is very true, Bethan.

Sometimes, it gets to a point where debates do more harm than good. And we should learn to pick the signs and stop.

Thank you for pointing this out.

MELANIE EDJOURIAN
6 months ago

I’m sure these tips will help many avoid learning the hard way about winning an argument. The most important is don’t pick an argument you can’t win.

Di MadWriter
Reply to  MELANIE EDJOURIAN
6 months ago

Yes, I also believe that is the most important.

Thank you for reading, Melanie.

Kristine Nicole Alessandra
6 months ago

Sometimes it is difficult not to take it personally when caught in an argument. I always tend to listen first and formulate rebuttals in my mind. I try my best to keep my cool, unless of course, the discussion veers away from the main issue and rude remarks start to surface.

Di MadWriter
Reply to  Kristine Nicole Alessandra
6 months ago

It is really difficult. It takes a lot of efforts to master.

It’s also important to know what topics you’re sensitive about and try not to engage in them.

Thank you for sharing.

Kuntala Bhattacharya
6 months ago

Agree with your tips, but maintaining the balance and keeping patience is real tough. But we must try I am in sync with you.

Di MadWriter
Reply to  Kuntala Bhattacharya
6 months ago

Yes, we must try.

Thank you for reading, Kuntala.

Di Hickman
6 months ago

Knowing your opponent is a good one and realizing if they are open to changing there minds. Listening, and responding vs reacting, and like you said not making it personal! Great tips!

Di MadWriter
Reply to  Di Hickman
6 months ago

I’m glad you agree. Thank you agree. Thanks for the time.

Nkem
6 months ago

Interesting! I really dislike arguing though I don’t mind confrontation. I have become a huge believer in picking and choosing my battles, and honestly, I don’t find many arguments worth my time. Worst case scenario, I will entertain them, but it’s stressful!

Di MadWriter
Reply to  Nkem
6 months ago

That is a great philosophy to live by, especially if arguments get to you.

Thanks for sharing this with us.

Krizzia Ia Mari Scollon
6 months ago

While winning an argument is important to me, one thing I’ve learned too is to step back and agree to disagree. However, you definitely mentioned some good points here!

Di MadWriter
Reply to  Krizzia Ia Mari Scollon
6 months ago

I’m glad you agree. Thank you for reading.

Britt | Not Your Mom's Gifts
6 months ago

These are great tips! I try to not engage in arguments, but sometimes it can’t be avoided & I think your tips are so helpful for those times. Thanks for sharing!

Sharing Life's Moments
6 months ago

These are great tips. I have always said a person can only argue with themselves but for so long. I will literally say, I’ve said my piece on the topic, deal with it or move on.

Di MadWriter
Reply to  Sharing Life's Moments
6 months ago

Thank you so much.

Cheeia
6 months ago

Don’t pick an argument you can’t win! That’s definitely a good starter! I often find myself in debate that I already know where it’s headed and I still do it anyway! But it does cause pain and headache in the end. Thanks for this! Totally relatable.

Di MadWriter
Reply to  Cheeia
6 months ago

I know that pain, only too well. I’m glad you find this helpful. Thanks for your comment, Cheeia.

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