| by Viano Dee | 28 comments

7 Things Typical Nigerian Mothers Do

290 total views, 3 views today

Nigerian Mothers: 7 Things Typical Nigerian Mothers Do.

Motherhood can be and is usually full of surprises. Mothering comes with a lot of commitments and responsibilities. There are a lot of things a mum would have to give up when it comes to raising a child. She will have to give up her shape as a result of pregnancy. Regardless of how she was before pregnancy, getting twice her size or even bigger is certain. It would be impossible for her to wear those really lovely dresses she has in her closet.

It also means that her diet may likely change; she may eat more than usual and probably crave for different types of food. She may also get irritated by the smell of certain foods she once loved or by an action that she once tolerated. The point is that her body changes during the period she is pregnant.

When the child is finally born, then the real work begins. She has to wake up in the night about three to five times to feed the child, change nappies at the same time take care of her family and go about her daily business. Then she finally begins to get some space when the child grows. That is how it is for mothers. Without mothers; they will be no us.

The stress we put our mothers through may be the reason for their reactions to us when we eventually get older (especially Nigerian mothers). It is like we have to pay back for all those times we cried at night, pooped in our nappies, asked for food frequently and thoroughly disturbed them. When we are older, they take their revenge. It’s amazing how the similarities are so striking among Nigerian mothers.

Here are 7 things typical Nigerian mothers do:

Your mother has her version of your life in her head

Nigerian mothers do not ever forget the details of their children. They do not forget what they might have done in the past. If you ever thought a memory card or a hard drive could do a good job; you are wrong, Nigerian mothers do a better job. Offend them and hear the list of your numerous sins.

They never pay back money you loan them

If you lend your mum money, just let it go. If you mention it, her response will be: Is that how I have been disturbing to pay me for all the food you have been eating since you were born? (Although many mums pay back their loans when you are an adult. But as a kid who gets free money from uncles, aunties and other relatives– forget it.)

They compare you to others

Come home with a position other than 1st position: Ahan! What is your problem? Why are you coming home with 5th position? Does the person that came 1st have two heads? You didn’t even come home with 2nd or 3rd –you came 5th and you are happy. You are very playful.

In your heart, you’ll wonder what would have happened if you came 10th or last.

One of the most common things you are likely to hear from typical Nigerian mothers is this: “Your mates are… and you are here doing…”

It’s almost impossible to find one Nigerian mother who doesn’t say this at one point in time.

Nagging

When they scold you for doing something wrong and you try to explain, they will be like: “Shut up your mouth! I am talking and you are talking! What nonsense!

When you keep quiet, she will ask a question and stare at you, meanwhile, you are there wondering if it is an actual question or a rhetorical one; the next thing you hear is a resounding: “Answer me, am I not talking to you?”

When you are done answering and explaining, she will insult you a few more times and keep quiet. If you say you’re sorry, she will say: “Sorry for yourself” and hiss. If you don’t apologize, that’s another level of argument.

“Look at you! No manners! You can’t even say you’re sorry.”

“…”

I just finished correcting you and you’re still not apologizing.”

“I felt you were going to tell me sorry for yourself.”

“So what if I say sorry for yourself? Aren’t you supposed to apologize”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for yourself!”

After all these, she will keep quiet for a few seconds and then resume: “Later now you people (you and your siblings) will be saying I like nagging.”

Shopping with them is usually long and tiring

When you go shopping with your mum, you sincerely hope that she doesn’t meet anybody she knows on the way. Most times that hope crushes because she will always see someone she knows. Even if she doesn’t, the one who knows her will call her and they will chat for ages while you stand there like a bodyguard waiting till they’re done.

When you eventually start shopping, she’ll haggle to the point where she ends up buying some things that are not even on the list. You can’t just get angry and go home, you both came to the market together and together you’ll both leave.

They send you on annoying errands

Your mum can call you from wherever you are to give her the remote control that isn’t far away from her just because she doesn’t feel like getting up. She can call you from the kitchen to go back and get her a plate of food. Lmao! It’s only funny when you talk about it. It’s like a game they have been programmed to play.

Read also: Dear Mothers-in-law

They can give long advice

Giving advice is like a never-ending sermon. You would be seated for hours and when she’s done, she’ll be like, “I don’t have much to say.” Like wt???

But at the end of the day, no matter how you provoke your mother, she will never stop being your mother. She will still care for you and love you. When you ask her for something even when she doesn’t have, she will still find a way of getting it for you. She will protect you, she will scold you when you’re wrong, she will annoy you but she will always love you. This is what mothers do.

Do these apply to Nigerian mothers alone? Have you had a similar experience or is your experience different? Drop your comments.

Viano Dee

Viano Dee is a non niche blogger, an entrepreneur, poet, songwriter and a hardcore romantic. When she's not blogging or going about her business, she's constantly thinking about the next topic to write on. P.S: She can write you original song or poem lyrics for a little fee. Click on her fiverr link for details. You can find the link on her home page or contact page. Thank you in advance 😉

100Shares