6 Lessons Life Has Taught Me.
When I was a child I couldn’t wait to become an adult. I was always in a hurry to grow just so I could do grown up things like make up, date, get a job, make money, get married — the list goes on. Then like a dream, I became an adult and reality hit me.
You know the saying: “the grass always looks greener on the other side?” That saying is true. It’s easier to envy or judge someone (as the case maybe) while you’re far away than when you’re in their shoes. When you walk in their shoes, you get the full picture. You understand exactly what they are going through.
As a child this wouldn’t have made sense but as an adult, I get it. Personally, I don’t think anything can ever prepare one for adulthood apart from experience itself (my opinion). But I’d like to share a few lessons life has taught me.
Things do not always go as planned
Life is not a fairy tale. When I was younger, I had plans. I created a picture of what I wanted my life to be— who I wanted to spend my life with. I had planned that I would get a job immediately after school, work for a while and become self employed, get married at 25 and have 2 kids at 28.
Well, I am 28. Never worked. Self employed and single. No relationship, no marriage, no kids. And quite frankly, I’m not even sure I’m ready for marriage yet. But as at the time the plan was drafted, I was so sure that that was what I wanted.
Here’s the thing: plans change, purposes are redefined. Things will not always go the way we plan but there are lessons to learn at every step of the way.
Forgiveness is for your peace of mind not for that of others
I’ve been hurt many times by family, friends, loved ones and even enemies (those that considered themselves as such). Many times, I have been tempted to keep malice but I’ve realized that it would be to my own detriment.
I can’t afford to sleep with anger bottled up inside. I don’t want my heart to beat faster than normal when I see the person who has offended me.
Letting go of bitterness and hurt is one of the best things you can ever do for yourself.
Godliness with Contentment is great gain
Life has taught me never to compare myself to another person. I mentioned this earlier. You have no idea what anyone is going through behind the scenes — till you walk in their shoes. Many people live a fake life — they act rich when they can barely eat. They force smiles when they are plagued with pain. And social media hasn’t really helped matters.
People get so carried away by pictures and the things that they see. Remember, not all that glitters is gold. The grass always looks greener on the other side till you get there. And when you do, you either discover that it’s been well watered or it’s fake. The latter is most times the case.
I have heard about people who have sold their souls for money because they were not contented with what they had. But I have learned to be contented in lack and in plenty— I am grateful for whatever I have at any point in time.
There is no short cut to success
Success has a process — you can’t change that. You need to work hard to earn success. There will be frustrations — times when you feel like giving up; times when you’re completely clueless — in such times, one needs to persevere because that’s the process.
Success is just like a seed you plant. You don’t plant today and expect produce in a few hours. It takes time. First, it needs to germinate, secure its roots and fully mature before it begins to bear fruit.
These days, people don’t want to experience the process— they want a quick fix. A quick fix doesn’t last.
Hardships are meant to make you not break you
We’ve all had our shares of pain and struggles at some points in our lives. There were moments where I felt I would not have the strength to move on but I did. I didn’t throw in the towel because I understand that everything happens for a reason.
I like to think of hardships like sharpeners. You only need to sharpen something when it is blunt. Think of pencil or a knife. The process of sharpening always involves a moment of shedding only so they can serve the purpose they are created for.
For as long as they are blunt, they remain useless. If either of them could speak, they’d express their hurts during that process. No one likes hardship but it’s essential. It keeps you prepared for your purpose — to make you not to break you.
Love and compassion go a long way
In a world full of hatred and all sorts of vices, the best thing you can offer is love and kindness. I have learned that if we must conquer hate, we need to love even when we don’t feel like. We need to show compassion even when people don’t deserve it. Nothing consumes hatred more than love.
Also, life has taught me to lend a helping hand as often as I can; to be the reason why someone’s tears should dry. I must say that that experience is golden— there is nothing as humbling.
What has life taught you? Care to share? Drop your comments below.