5 Ways To Boost Your Low Self Esteem: A Personal Experience

5 Ways To Boost Your Low Self Esteem: A Personal Experience

5 Ways to Boost Your Self Esteem.

What is self esteem?

Self esteem is basically how you see and evaluate yourself. If you have low self esteem, it means you think poorly of yourself, you feel awkward and feel you aren’t good enough.

If you have healthy self esteem, it means you feel good about yourself. You value yourself, recognize your flaws and understand your worth but at the same time not downgrading or looking down on someone else.

If you have an extremely high esteem, it means you feel superior ( like a god like kind of feeling). You want everyone to do your bidding because you feel you’re better than them.

With this, we can conclude that a healthy self esteem is the best. Unfortunately, there are many people who don’t have a healthy self esteem. I used to be one of them.

My childhood wasn’t really fun. I suffered from low self esteem. I cannot remember ever being confident as a child. I was very sensitive, timid and particularly concerned about what everyone else thought of me.

First, my parents were always fighting and quarrelling. Secondly, I was being molested— quite frankly, that’s more than enough reason to suffer from low self esteem. I couldn’t tell my parents since I realized that they both had their struggles neither did I tell anyone because I really had no one to talk to. All I did was shut down and keep to myself — a loner was what I was.

This didn’t mean I wasn’t friendly to those I was used to (family), it just made me pretty secretive and not eager to make new friends. I preferred to be alone. I was 5 at the time and not longer after, my dad abandoned us.

By the time I was in secondary school (boarding school), my low self esteem became worse. I had friends quite alright but I always felt I didn’t belong. It seemed they were all from very well to do families and I wasn’t.

I wanted to belong so bad that I began to lie and steal. When the other kids would talk about their vacations to various countries, I would listen attentively so I could make up mine.

They always had cash to flaunt and I felt so bad and out of place. My mum tried her best. She did all she could but she could not afford to give me any money. Heck! She couldn’t afford the fees, my Uncle (her immediate older brother) took care of that. The school gave us food and snacks (which we paid for)— I was supposed to be contented but I wasn’t. I wanted to be like the cool kids so I delved into stealing.

I normally felt bad when I did but I always justified myself by telling myself that I needed it— that I deserved to have it and that it wouldn’t matter to any of the kids I stole from because their parents would still send to them anyway.

Eventually, I got caught— first for stealing, then for lying. I can’t really remember what it was I stole but I was flogged and punished. It only made my self esteem lower. Suddenly, I was treated like a plague. Whenever something was missing, I could feel eyes starring even when I was innocent. My self esteem only depreciated.

As for lying, I got caught when my baby sister got into the same school. She had no idea I had lied about my vacations and material things I never had. My mates called her aside and began to question her. She told them everything— I was busted! To top it up, they set a trap for me. They asked me what colour my passport was and I replied, “black and white!” There was an uproar, one of laughter and mockery.

Thing is, I had no idea what an international passport was like. I thought it was a passport photograph, so when they asked me, I just assumed it was black and white. At this point, I don’t think I had anymore self esteem. I just wanted to die! I wept uncontrollably. In the midst of it all, there were still some nice people who came to console me.

I was so ashamed of myself but somehow I managed to move on. This happened in the last semester of my fourth year in secondary school. After that semester, my mum changed our school to a cheaper one because of finances. Things weren’t going quite well for my uncle so the budget had to reduce. She had no idea what had happened but boy, was I glad that I was finally leaving that school. It was like God wanted me to make peace with myself and those I had hurt before leaving. It felt great.

However, that experience marked the beginning of something new. I had to come clean with myself. I had to stop living and believing a lie. I wasn’t going to carry that baggage into my new school. I needed to be better. I needed to be confident about myself, I had to figure it out and I did.

What did I do? How did I go about it? Allow me to introduce to you 5 ways to boost your self esteem:

Change your mindset

5 Ways to Boost Your Low Self Esteem: Change your mindset

There are several things that can be responsible for having a low self esteem. Regardless of what these factors may be, you have the sole responsibility to decide how much effect they can have in your life. What this means is that you can decide to let them haunt, taunt and define you or you can silence them.

Read also: The Positive Side of Pain

How do you silence them? By not allowing them rule your life. Agreed, you messed up or people look down on you, or bad things have happened to you — you have the right to prove them wrong. You have the right to be better. You need to have a positive mindset. Decide not to be defined by your pain instead get inspiration from it. Look for the positive in the negative. Strive to be better. Change your mindset to a positive one.

This was the first thing I did. I began to feel good about myself instead of feeling sorry. I stopped letting my past define me. I began to appreciate myself. The more I did, the happier I felt. I felt contented and wanted to make friends. My love for God increased too. I felt empowered. It changed me completely.

Love yourself

5 Ways to Boost Your Low Self Esteem: Love yourself

Loving yourself is one of the best things you can do for yourself. When you are suffering from low self esteem, one of the things you are likely going to find yourself doing is wallowing in self pity. This often leads to prolonged sorrow and depression. You don’t need to that to yourself. Love yourself. Appreciate who you are. Love your body the way it is if that’s what you’re ashamed of. Many times, the things you don’t like about your body are the things someone out there admires. Do you feel out of place because your family doesn’t have so much? Don’t! Appreciate their effort. Embrace yourself and accept who you truly are.

Challenge yourself

5 Ways to Boost Your Low Self Esteem: Challenge yourself

Take up new challenges from time to time. Attempt to get better in aspects you aren’t so good at. Try getting better at a skill or learn a new skill. Create new ideas. Improve yourself. Challenge yourself to become a better person.

In my own case, I got closer to God. I made more friends. I began to express myself and voice out my opinions. I also began to not worry much about what people thought of me. What mattered to me was being true to who I really was.

Be kind to yourself

5 Ways to Boost Your Low Self Esteem: Be kind to yourself

In the process of challenging yourself, you might make a few mistakes— that’s totally fine. Don’t hit yourself too hard or tag yourself a failure. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back and say, “Weldone. You’ve tried but you can do better.” Learn to encourage yourself.

Stop comparing yourself to others

5 Ways to Boost Your Low Self Esteem: Stop comparing yourself to others

In this age of social media and photo shopped pictures, it is tempting to constantly compare yourself to others — don’t! You’re likely going to develop low self esteem if you do. There’s no need for that.

Read also: 6 Lesson Life Has Taught Me

You need to realize that people will always put up their best not their failures. Understand that most pictures are heavily filtered or photoshopped therefore things are not always what they seem. As a matter of fact, most people are trying to make an impression because they are suffering from low self esteem! Remember me? The lies I told for recognition and the things I stole so I could belong? Sadly, that’s the life of many people.

Even if there are people who genuinely have and are flaunting, fine. Let them be them while you be you. Be true to you. You aren’t on the same journey. You don’t have the same timeline. Never think less of yourself. Be contented with what you have and be grateful.

At the end of the day, I’m grateful for where I am today. No one taught me these—I figured it out myself. I was 14 when I decided to change my mindset. If I could do it, what could possibly hinder you from doing so?

Have you suffered from low self esteem before? Are you suffering from it presently? Share your experience. Drop your comments.

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Viano Dee

Non-niche blogger. Poet. Songwriter. A hardcore romantic. Her write-ups could take any form: poetry, articles, and even songs in ways that'll inspire you, resonate with you, or tell a story while keeping you both informed and entertained.

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Kristine Nicole Alessandra

The thing I really need to work on is to stop comparing myself with others. It only makes me feel so inferior or insecure. 


Yeah, it sure does and you don’t need to feel inferior because you are not.


tips like these are important as many people (me included) tend to compare themselves to others. but there’s no point, everyone is it’s own person with it’s own life – and that’s good!

regards from germany!


Reply to  Kerstin

Thanks so much, Kristen.

Ewuzie Kingsley

Kudos for this awesome post…. But in as much as all these seems and sounds great, the truth is that they are very difficult to apply.. Not comparing one’s self with others is good but very difficult especially when you are not yet where you are supposed to be, and when you are not yet where you think you are supposed to be, being kind to yourself seems like a very difficult thing to do.. Even though it might be difficult but will all keep working toward it gradually we will overcome… 


Very correct, Kingsley. It takes a changed mindset and determination.

The Wishful Luxury

I think that a lot of people have very low self esteem and I think especially with social media nowadays you are constantly comparing yourself to unrealistic expectations. This is a great post! 

Tara Fuller

wow, I can’t even imagine the courage it took to openly write about such personal things in your life. I so appreciate you sharing that and empowering others to grow beyond their hardships!

Reply to  Tara Fuller

Thank you so much, Tara.

Reply to  Viano Dee

Glad you’ve been able to love yourself. It’s very important.


Focusing on yourself is one of the best recommendations I guess. We all are in different situation and when you focus on yourself, your development is stable.. Unlike when you compare yourself with others. But then again.. its how you cope with such factors

Reply to  Michael


Susu Yati

To write this takes courage. Self esteem is the backbone to some of life’s major decision in my opinion and without it then it is a problem

Reply to  Susu Yati

That’s right!


I am sorry to hear that your childhood was so difficult.   It is so important to realize that you can still make choices on how to live after such horrible trauma.  When you take back your power, the predator loses and you become stronger and able to help others by sharing vulnerably and honestly.  You are valued and loved and important! 

Reply to  Lisa

Thank you so much for your kind words, Lisa. Means a lot.

constance k

Great piece, for me learning to say no was the first way to compact it you be amaze how that Simply word can boost your confident

Reply to  constance k

Thank you so much.

Sarah Conley

I’m sorry you had a rough childhood… But happy for you for being able to take control and become a stronger you! Confidence is so important! I’m confident most of the time, however, there are times when I get down on myself, and challenging myself – excersice goals, new creative projects – are always how I get out of my confidence slump!

Reply to  Sarah Conley

Thank you so much, Sarah. Way to go!


Changing your mindset I believe is the most difficult. I have even taken a class on it but everyday it is a challenge.

Reply to  judean

With constant practice and determination, you’ll get there.

Fashion and Style Police

Self esteem is really important. I love how you have defined it here. It is important to boost your self esteem. 


That’s right!


It’s amazing  that you transformed your mindset at 14, lots of teens try to belong and even adults too. Thanks for this enlightening article, will certainly try some self esteem boosting myself.

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