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4 Ways to Get Over a Break Up
Breaking up can be a very excruciating experience — especially when you have invested so much in a relationship.
Many things run through your mind. You ask questions like: “How did we get here?” “What went wrong?” “Why do I feel such pain?” “Thought we were good together.”
These are just a few of the things that may occupy your thoughts. You experience a whirlwind of emotions— sometimes in ways so incomprehensible.
Ending a relationship can cause severe health problems since it has real effects on the body and mind. An example of such health issue is the broken heart syndrome.
When you think of a broken heart, the first thing that comes to mind is a zigzag dividing a heart shaped drawing— truth is there’s more to that.
Pain from a broken heart is a real issue; it is a big deal and shouldn’t be taken lightly. It could lead to severe short- term heart muscle failure. So when next someone tells you they feel pain after a break up, believe them.
Normaly, the desire of anyone experiencing a heart break is to get over it—as stated in my previous post, no one wants to suffer pain. This is why I have decided to share with you four ways to get over a break up.
Grief and Accept the Reality
You’ve broken up with the one you love— you’re probably never going to get back together. There goes everything you both had, everything you both worked for— far away into memory land. This is your reality! Accept it!
Cry over it because you have to; don’t swallow your pain. Express yourself, embrace the emotions— grieve. Take your time. Don’t let anyone rush you into getting over your break up.
It may take some days, a couple of weeks or months— and that’s fine because grieving helps wounds to heal faster.
During the process different kinds of emotions can be experienced such as: anger, irritability, sadness and tears, lack of concentration, loss of appetite, lonliness— just to mention a few. These emotions are normal and are expected.
However, you need to do yourself a favour. Don’t let your grief push you into harming yourself or making bad decisions like getting a rebound or becoming suicidal. I cannot overemphasize this enough.
Don’t toy with another person’s heart and emotion because you’re trying to get over someone else— you’ll make your situation more complicated. Rebound relationships can be more dangerous than you think. Also, no relationship (broken or fixed) is worth dying for.
One thing that you need to remember is this: you are only going through a phase and you’d come out of it a stronger person. Time and patience is all you need.
If you keep this in mind, you’ll be doing yourself a whole lot of good.
Reflect and Re-evaluate
After you have grieved, the next step would be to re-evaluate. At this time, you’ll be able to ask questions and answer them correctly. This is where you get to look back and see what went wrong.
You can ask yourself the following questions:
“What could I have done better?” “Why did it end the way it ended?” “How do I become a better person?” “What lessons have I learnt from this?”
If you’re up for it, you can reach out to your ex and maybe friends (friends of you both) to also get their opinions or views. This allow you to see things from different perspectives. Note, that the focus should be on you not on your ex because you’re trying to learn from the past to prepare for the future. You want to improve on yourself in order to become a better you.
Be Productive and Creative
Creativity boosts your confidence; productivity gets you up and doing. One of the best ways to get over a break up is to keep yourself occupied. This of course comes after grieving and re-evaluation.
During grieving, you may not be able to fully concentrate. After accepting the reality, you’ll find it easier to focus.
Get closer to God. Find new hobbies. Do the things you love. Acquire new skills. Hang out with friends. Invest wisely. Set goals and hunt them. Make money. Yes! You heard right! You can’t afford to suffer from a broken heart and be broke at the same time. That’s an awful combination!
It is very easy to forget yourself in a relationship because you’re constantly considering your significant other.
After a break up, being by yourself seems alien to you. You miss the person’s company and being alone won’t feel right. It is very understandable.
However, you need that moment of singleness in order to re-discover yourself. Enjoy it. Embrace it. This is the final step to your recovery. Learn to create happiness for yourself from within.
Understand that you mustn’t be in a relationship to feel loved or alive. Love yourself, heal completely and wait till you’re ready to fall in love again.
Share your thoughts. Drop your comments.